Study Buddy…with Benefits
Hello friends. After the article Graduate Insanity by Emily McMillen, I figured I would hash out a topic that is very near and dear to my “heart”. As we approach this time that most people refer to as “spring fever” and midterms, I figure it is as good a time as any.
So, what is the value of a study buddy with benefits? Does it help, hurt, or cause way too many problems? I have asked some of my friends to help me by sharing their experiences and giving their opinion on this particular arrangement. First, lets set up a few guidelines:
Definition: Someone you are not in a relationship with, who is going through some sort of higher education as well (need not be the same program or school), and with whom you have shared genetic material.
1. No Dates: It may seem like it is part of the deal, but it’s not. As soon as you start associating outside the realm of school in a non-platonic way you are “dating” and no longer fit the mold of study buddy with benefits.
2. No Emotional Involvement: This is a big no-no. Once you get emotionally involved with your buddy things can get hairy, especially if they don’t feel the same way. If you start feeling things like jealousy, insecurity, and needy you either need to talk to them and see if they feel the same way or get out. If you are incapable of keeping your emotions out of the picture, then don’t do it at all. Don’t be needy, it’s not sexy.
3. No Personal Conversations: Going along with the no emotional involvement thing, when things get too personal, things get tricky. You may have personal problems with family or whatever, but that is not something you talk about with your buddy. You have friends for that (supposedly). Relying on your buddy with these issues can lead to an emotional involvement or neediness, so avoid at all costs.
Now that we have that all straightened out, lets see what some of my friends have to say:
Your gay ex-husband: Does not have one, but sometimes one needs to study alone. Depending on the subject it can definitely work. I think with my fingers, so anything that is rather hands on can be beneficial to do with a study buddy. So honey if you need help with your “digits” feel free to call.
Madame Zicklin: Definitely has one. It helps! When you are studying with your buddy, you get a lot of input. It focuses your attention, you’re alot less stressed and certainly a lot more satisfied. You will sleep better, especially before an exam.
Felatio Rashad: More sex. “New York is where everyone comes to get laid.” We are all here for a reason. Anything you are learning in class, make it sexual. It sticks a lot more and I love the flow charts.
Not Your Average Female Accountant: Does not have one. I am emotionally incapable of having one, although I wish I was! Goes to show you it’s not for everyone.
Rama: It is what it is. I found my study buddy at one of the Graduate Socials.
Robert Wang, the int’l mixologist: Doesn’t have one, but is taking applications. I am in favor of somebody you study with and with whom you engage in sexual intercourse, or grill and chill. You get an A while she gets an O.
With these things in mind I bid you all good luck. If you find yourself with a buddy then I applaud you. Keep things light and fun, no one needs anything heavy with exams on the horizon.
Study hard and play harder 😉