The Graduate Baruchian

Baby, it’s cold outside.  Are your thoughts turning inward for warmth and meaning?  Are you confused by the modern dating scene?  Is your complicated grad-school life a mess? Help is here.

In response to requests, The Graduate Baruchian invited the inimitable Ms. Clare Boothe and her coterie of friends to help graduate students optimize their personal intimate rate of return (PIRR).   Ms. Boothe is, ahem, very well connected to Baruch and knows first hand the rigors of grad school, ambition and romance.   She, along with her friends, will offer candid, heartfelt and sometime sordid commentary on matters of the heart.  You can send an e-mail in confidence to her at tanteclarebooth@gmail.com

Clare Booth:   I’ve seen it all, folks, and don’t think you are alone out there.  From congressmen, financiers, models, and the work-a-day fella, we all yearn for each other.  We don’t get it right either . Or do we do justice to each other.  So stick with me and learn from the disasters and, yes, joys, that I’ve lived through.  Listen in to our conversations on this week’s troubles

I started the Zicklin MBA this fall and academically I am doing well.  However, my relationship is suffering.  My boyfriend has become jealous of the friends and connections that I am making at Baruch.  Naturally, I flirt at events, but it’s harmless.  I also spend a lot of time away from home studying and in class.  We are growing apart.  What do you recommend?  — Come-A-Long-Way Jane.

Lynn Rallings: This happens a lot when the ambition of one does not meet the other.  Take Ryan and Reese in Hollywood. . . but I digress.   Does he provide something in the relationship?  Is he something to look forward to when you come home? If not, move on.  Or are you just suffering from inertia and need an excuse to leave?  If not, stay and make it work how . . .  and give him a value proposition he can’t pass up.

Byron Rumpf:  Jane, dearest.   This is a phase. After grad school, will everything go back to way the way it was?  It probably will once he sees you become successful.  Be careful not to throw out something good because of a temporary rough patch.

Jessica Rabbit: Deal with it or do something about.  Life is short, have fun.  If he is not providing what you need in your life, there are, trust me girl, plenty of others who can.

Clare  Boothe:  Dump the bum, hun. If he can’t appreciate what you are trying to do, he has no part in your life.  Of course you should flirt, that is part of the fun.  A man these days (as a woman) should be confident about their sexuality, need for companionship and desire for a better life.   Don’t let him drag you down.

I met this very interesting, intelligent and attractive woman at the recent graduate social.  We really connected and I’m want to take it further.  1) I am concerned about dating someone too close to common ground.   If it goes bad, I am worried about seeing her in class. What do you think?  2) I don’t have her e-mail and only her first name and I can’t spell it. What do you recommend.  –Bashful Barry.

Dirk Diggler:  Next time let the air out of her before you put her in the closet.

Jessica Rabbit: Don’t listen to him.   He’s got one thing on his mind.  1) Pursue her.  You have nothing to loose.  You have a good common interest (Zicklin), but it is much too close if you are in the same class.   Then again, you could take a page from Bonnie and “give’m somethin’ to talk about.”  2) Also try searching facebook for first name and baruch.  You might even try to check in list.  But be smart and savvy.  If she’s into you, she will dig you pursuing her.  Otherwise she might see you as a psycho.

Prince Albert:  You missed your chance.  Next time, when you see it, go get it.  2) Wait for the next social.

Simon Weiss: That’s not fair.  Guys are shy sometimes.  This same situation happened to me.  Here’s what I did:  Find a common friend and let the friend know that you’re interested.  The friend will broach the subject with her and get her number.   Then you can text her if it’s okay to call.  Do so with respectful interest.  That’s what I did and now we’ve had our second date.

Clare Boothe:  Send your stories and agonies to us.  You are not alone, and while you’re unique, your problems aren’t.   Share and you’ll be amazed that there are several solutions.  Of course, your anonymity is completely guaranteed.  We change names and situations.  Send an e-mail in confidence to your Tante at tanteclareboothe@gmail.com